When will I learn?

I have bad reactions to a lot of over-the-counter medications.

There was the time when I took an extra-strength tylenol and had a sharp, terrible pain between my ribs.

Another time I had a severe cold and took one of those Neo-Citrin drink mixes. Laying on my bed, I felt I was hovering above my body.

Then there was the time I had tonsillitus and was given little orange pills instead of the usual red and black capsules. I couldn't breathe and felt a huge pressure in my chest -- it was coming from my heart and felt like my body was trying to push my heart out. And my esophagus and heart appeared florescent yellow to me, like they were radiating from my torso. I stumbled from work to the doctor and was told that what I experienced usually occurs before someone dies from their medication. I'd take tonsillitus over deathly hallucinations any day.

Despite all my past experiences and the fact that I take as little medication as possible -- perhaps 3 or 4 regular strength Avils in a month -- I decided to self-medicate again. The documentary showing is tomorrow night and I woke up this morning with a moderately sore throat -- the kind that gets progessively worse. I really didn't want to be sick at the screening because I've been looking forward to it for months and am so proud of the show. So I dug around in the medicine cabinet and grabbed out two cold and sinus pills, expecting foolishly to feel better in a few hours.

Unfortunately I had another reaction to these pills and spent the day shivering and barely able to move. The effects are starting to wear off now and I'm sure a good night's sleep will make a big difference.

Next time I'm sick, I think I'll go back to drinking sage tea and eating licorice root. And eating kids' Dimenitap teddy bear suckers.