Bad date catalogue

The guy who planned a romantic hike up a mountain with a picnic lunch including dried pinapple pieces and other such delicacies ruined the date early on trying to prove his sense of humour.

"I'm kind of a goofy guy," he said early into the all-day climb. A few seconds later he cracked his skull against mine. "Bonk," he said. "I told you I was kinda goofy."

Then there was the cute scruffy one I really liked -- until our first date. He spent a good 15 minutes describing how he battered his chicken the night before. He went into this monologue while helping me finish off my vegan special of the day.

And I can't forget about the date I had promised to pay for since my poor date was spending entirely too much money on me. We had eaten and I was trying to pay when I realized I had forgotten my bank card. The waiter thought he'd try to get a better tip by making rude comments while my date paid the tab.

I have to admit I was attracted to the idea of dating a wrongfully-convicted felon. (The fact he was absolutely gorgeous didn't hurt his case either.) But as it turned out, he wasn't quite as innocent as he claimed. After a party, I found some of our mutual friends' things (cologne, sunglasses) in my bag. And all sorts of mini-crimes seemd to happen wherever he had been.

Then there were the guys who lured my friend and I to their cabin when they said we could use their hot tub. By "hot tub" they meant an old-fashioned -- or possibly homemade -- pool of freezing water that can be heated by a wood-burning stove. My friend and I shivered in the pool until we realized it would take hours to warm up. Maybe that was my lesson not to leave parties with strange guys... hmmm.

One of my all-time most annoying dates was with the guy that took me to see "The Wedding Planner" years ago. He liked the movie. In fact, I'm pretty sure it was his pick. That's reason enough for it to show up on my list.