Hard to digest

My little sister will be going into Grade 5 this year, which is hard to believe because she’s growing so fast. Last time I saw her, she made a sarcastic comment about my shoes – and everyone knows using sarcasm is a right of passage from childhood to early adolescence.

Another thing that’s hard to believe is that when she goes back to school, her new teacher will be the kid who had a crush on me from the time I was into heat-activated colour-change sweatshirts, the Sweet Valley Twins and penny candy to the time I was all about shopping and not eating and spending hours on the phone.

One time this kid, whom my little sister refers to as a Mister, thought my new grape-flavoured tube of lip gloss smelled good and asked if he could see it. I passed it to him and watched in a mixture of confusion, amusement and revulsion as he put some on, licked it, liked how it tasted, rolled the stick of gloss up as high as it would go and ate it. All of it.

Another time Mr. Teacher and I got into fight because I heard a rumour that he had said something mean about me. The fight took place right after I had filled a bowl with ice cream and messy delicious syrups and may have resulted in me chasing him all over our church and the parking lot, trying to throw my snack on him. (Incidentally, my little sister told me there was a fundraiser at school where if the kids made enough money, someone could throw a pie at him.)

Despite our arguments, he and I grew to be friends and I got used to him liking me. When he stopped liking me or as he said “put me on the back burner” and began telling me about this other girl he was interested in, I was lost. We stayed friends until high school ended, but mostly lost touch after that.

Now my little sister, who is excited to be his student, tells me he is engaged. I guess this means he’s learned there are better ways to impress girls besides eating their cosmetics ;)

All the best with your new adult life, Mr. Teacher, and congratulations on your engagement.