Once the snow melts...

The Snowplower called Monday at noon and left a voicemail message asking what would have to happen for him to be my boyfriend.

I wasn’t sure if I was even going to call him back, as things did end rather messily the last time, but by 8:30 that night I gave in and called.

When there was no answer I left a message that said simply, “Hi it’s me. Call back when you get a chance.” (Please note how I did not say, “Hi, I want to be your girlfriend. Please stop by my apartment whenever you get a chance.”)

I went to home for lunch today and on the way I heard a car honk. A guy across the street said something to the guy who had honked and I didn’t pay much attention to either of them. Then my phone was ringing when I got to my door. Any guesses who it was?

It was the Snowplower saying he was at the front door and that he was coming in to hang out with me while I ate lunch. I was confused and a little flustered and a bit creeped out, but I still managed to say, “Aren’t you going to ask permission first?”

So then he asked if he could spend my lunch break with me. I said he could but that we’d have to go somewhere to eat because I didn’t want him in my apartment.

Then he told me how he had just been at the hospital getting some help with his kidney stones and that he wasn’t feeling and just wanted to see me. So I let him in.

We didn’t really have anything to talk about and it was really awkward as I live in a bachelor suite with my bed in the living room performing as a couch and a table. We sat on my bed in near silence as I ate lunch.

Then he told me that he missed me and that he just wants to be with me. (I don’t really believe it because if you actually like someone, you probably don’t go months without talking to that person. We hadn’t seen each other since the day before I started my new job).

Then he tried to kiss me and that didn’t go over too well.

We talked for a few minutes and then he tried to swoop in and steal a kiss. Again I didn’t let him and this time I was mad that he was trying again. After all, how long is a “no” valid? I think a “no” has to last at least a little longer than a minute or two.

He pressures me too much, he seems to think I’m lazy (because my dishes and floors weren’t washed in time for his surprise visit), we have nothing in common, and I feel like he’s trying to manipulate me. Last time things ended, I rearranged my apartment to try to forget that he had been there. Things have been in this long dying-out process since we met and I don’t know what to do since the empathetic, overly-forgiving and admittedly-stupid part of me still has the remnants of a crush on him.