To be placed in a lavender-scented trunk

My darling little blog, how I have missed you. I sit at my desk trying not to think about you, but am failing miserably at that task.

I didn't get to tell you that the Snowplower left me a very romantic voicemail. He said, "I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to make out. Call me."

I didn't get to tell you that I called him back a few days later and said, "thanks for the lovely offer, but this is hurting me too much and I need a lot more than that." I'm kind of proud of me.

I didn't get to tell you that I wrote an Executive Memo the other day and felt very pompous while doing it.

I didn't even get to tell you that when I write press releases, I'm supposed to make up quotes from the important people in the office. This scandalizes me and makes me think I must still be rather naive. (After I make up the quotes, a few other people tweak them and the person I attributed them to approves them, so it's only 87% lying.)

I didn't get to tell you that years ago someone committed suicide off my building and now I can't look at the parking lot the same way.

I didn't get to tell you that I could've someone the other day. My smoke detector was going (even though my cookies were still raw) so I opened my window. And when I opened my window, it almost fell out of the frame. And there were people down below. And yes, the smoke detector was still blaring while I was trying not to drop my window on strangers' heads. My that was a fun time.

Well dear blog, it's been far too long. But I must go. I'm off to play Barbies with Faunty and our littlest sister. Somehow I think I'm going to have to be the bad guy who steals pets or kidnaps babies. I'll try to keep in touch.

-g