New Year's Eve plans

My friend, the perfect one, and I have come up with a (hopefully) fail-proof plan for having a great New Year's Eve.

We're going to have a sleepover and drink raspberry and apple martinis in her parent's basement (she's living at home while she works on her masters thesis and her parents are conveniently out of the country). We're also going to soak in her hot tub, paint our toenails, watch a stack of movies, eat a bunch of baking and make New Year's resolutions for each other.

I'm really looking forward to having such a laid-back time. I've found New Year's Eve parties to be quite exhausting and they don't usually turn out all that well.

My best New Year's Eve so far was three years ago. A friend and I got all dressed up and went to a trendy downtown bar where we drank free champagne and danced with a bunch of cute geeky boys. We had a blast.

That's the only New Year's Eve where I remember having a great time. One year I resorted to playing Bingo with a friend, another year the guys my friends and I spent New Year's Eve with ran outside at the stroke of midnight to shoot their guns into the sky, another year the party I was at was so lame I started walking home a few minutes after midnight, and another year I pretended to be sick so I could stay home alone and mope after a crappy breakup.

It's nice to know that this year I don't have to worry about fending off leering old men, about making awkward conversation with strangers and about finding a safe ride home.

Happy New Year!

Saddam

You know what seems barbaric? Weighing a person's life, finding him inferior, planning his death and hanging him because you think he's too evil to be allowed to exist.

I know that Saddam did terrible things, things that deserve punishment, but it bothers me how society gathered together and agreed to kill him. Is that not also evil?

***

This is a quote from MSNBC story, "Nations welcome, condemn Saddam execution" ( http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11497279/?GT1=8816).

"In Pakistan, an Islamic ally in the U.S.-led war on terror, a leader of a coalition of six religious parties said Saddam had not received justice.

'We have no sympathy with Saddam Hussein, but we will also say that he did not get justice,' Liaquat Baluch, a leader of the Mutahida Majlis-e-Amal, also known as the United Action Forum, told The Associated Press by phone.

'The execution of Saddam Hussein will further destabilize Iraq. There will be more sectarian violence in Iraq, and we believe that the execution of Saddam Hussein is part of the American plan to disintegrate Iraq,' he added (emphasis added)."

Sometimes I am lame

I just did something pathetic.

There's this anti-war organization that's doing a lot of good work in the country and that is connected to quite a few brilliant researchers and reporters whose work impresses me. I felt bad about not being able to donate to a campaign I believe in so I offered to volunteer, thinking I could help out by licking stamps or organizing mailing lists or something.

Well, the director of the whole organization e-mailed back almost immediately and asked if I would write for them to help people in my province better understand the issues. I said no. That's too huge and too intimidating and too important.

***

Thanks for the encouragement. The director of the organization replied saying a bunch of nice things and asking me to reconsider. I am. But I'm still nervous and intimidated.

An unflattering and rather uncomfortable dilemma

Faunty got me a few pairs of really cute underwear for Christmas. When I say they are cute, I mean they look nice folded up and nestled in tissue paper. They are less cute in practicality.

There's so little material in the back that I'm faced with a constant battle whenever I put them on. Which is sexier: a polka-dotted wedgie or a butt crack hanging out over lacy trim? I'm finding myself in a tug-of-war as I try to reach some happy medium which doesn't seem to exist.

Maybe I'll have to put granny panties on my list next year.

A snapshop (for Amanda)

I didn't have my camera with me while rescuing the hitch hiker but -- luckily for my curious readers -- I have an extraordinarly good memory.

This is how I remember the hitch hiker as he got out of my car at one town and continued on to the next in the middle of the night and in the middle of a fierce snow storm.

This is how I remember him: hunched against the wind, struggling on, wildly stubborn and alone. The hitch hiker reminds me of the monster in Frankenstein, desperate for somewhere to belong and for someone to understand him.

Pirate love

Because the hitch hiker is by nature a nomad, I didn't know if anyone else would call to wish him a merry Christmas so I called him last night.

While we were talking, I mentioned a new game Faunty and I had just invented. We were calling each other the grossest things we could think of from mucous bubble (Faunty) to rigor mortis (me). When I was telling the hitch hiker about how I called Faunty a pile of vomit, he said the cheesiest line I've ever heard.

He said, "It's weird how I like you so much that when you talk about vomit, I feel that vomiting is something I would like to do."

I'm totally swooning.

P.S. The hitch hiker is a lot older than me, just got a restraining order for knocking out his ex's new boyfriend, has a one-year-old son and works with toxic waste without wearing a face mask. I don't know how I'll ever be able to resist his charms.

Merry Christmas!

My little sister is getting very excited about Christmas. She asked me not to show her the present I wrapped up for her because it will make her too impatient for Christmas morning.

She's nine now and seems to be in the midst of a belief crisis. She doesn't really think the toothfairy, the Easter bunny and Santa Claus exist. Yesterday she asked me if Santa was real and if I believed in him. I told her that I don't not believe in him. No one has ever been able to prove that he doesn't exist and I'd like to think that he does.

(I also refuse to accept it when people say that Harry Potter and his wizard friends don't exist. All I know is that I've never seen a magical flying car or learned to conjure up a flock of birds.)

So my little sister and I will sleep in the living room, next to the Christmas tree, waiting for Santa to come and hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

Merry Christmas all! I hope you have a magical time and enjoy all the candy canes and sugar cookies you can eat.

Sucky snowplower

The snowplower and I are in the middle of ending things.

It sucks.

It sucks that I'm not going to have a date for New Year's and that I missed out on my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make out in a snowplow. It sucks that we never went snowboarding and that we didn't have a chance to go for dinner.

It sucks that he kept making jokes about us eloping, being married ten years from now, going on a snowboarding trip with him in January and about me hypothetically moving in with him. While
I know it's way too fast for him to be talking about any of those things and while I didn't really want any of them anyway, it made me feel like he really liked me.

It sucks that I'm sad during the happiest time of the year.

It sucks that I've never had a real relationship and that a three-date relationship means something to me.

It sucks that I got him a pack of Bernie Botts Every Flavour Beans for a little Christmas joke that he won't get to find funny. The candies come in the strangest flavours including soap, sardines, vomint, cherry, ear wax, earthworm, bacon, rotten egg, blueberry, booger, lemon and dirt. I would have kept dating the snowplower until Christmas just to see his reaction.

It also sucks that he isn't likely going to give me the interview I need to finish the story I was working on about him. And at Christmas time it's not going to be too easy to find someone else to do the interview.

That'll teach me to kiss people I need to interview before getting all the information I need from them.

Our new old house

There's carpet in my house again. The holes in the walls have been filled. The computer is plugged in again and all is well. We still have a bunch of painting to do and I can't wait to see how our house turns out.

One of the carpet guys was working in the living room and singing "I want you to want me" really loudly. I couldn't stop giggling.

Temporary hiatus

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. Our house flooded back in October and the reconstruction work is finally in full swing. We had to unplug the computer and probably won't have it back for a few more days. It's strange not being able to post whatever I want whenever I want.

Heh?*

The snowplower and I have had two dates since we met three weeks ago. Normally I would think that if he doesn't make time to hang out it would mean he isn't too interested in me, but he's been calling every day. Some days he calls three or four times.

I don't get it.

*This is the most annoying sound in the world.

Friday night fun

It's Friday night and I'm at home alone wearing fuzzy pink sweats. It's nice. I just made some Christmas presents and got a few Christmas cards ready. Maybe I'll make cookies, write in my journal or have a bath. I hope no one comes home for a few more hours.

Sometimes I like having some time to hang out with myself. I've been staring at our Christmas lights with my glasses off and I love how the lights smear and stretch out and blend into each other. I wish I could figure out how to paint how I see them.

Honourable discharge

Today was my last day going for physio therapy for my neck and back because of two car accidents I was in last year at this time.

The girl who was working with me is "very pleased" with how much better I am, but she told me I need to keep doing my routine exercises three times a week in addition to any other fitness programs I might want to take. That's a lot of work, but I guess being able to shoulder check is worth it.

A little bit of like

I think it's about time for a happy post.

The snow plower and I met up again today. He came over for a little while before going to work and brought me lunch.

He's cute, funny, calls almost as often as I want him to and seems to tolerate my weirdness. I kinda like him.

Melancholy complaining

A guy I went to school with is hosting the evening news, some of the ambitious girls are working in public relations for government departments, others classmates have taken internships at huge papers, some are getting married and a few are off on international career-building adventures.

I, on the other hand, am still doing nothing.

I don't want to sell shoes (or anything else), don't want to get paid to type up lies, don't want to be on any radio or TV news shows and don't want to have to hunt people down for interviews on subjects I don't care about.

I can't find anything I want to do, I'm running out of money and I'm feeling suffocatingly bored all the time.

My date yesterday wasn't bad. We ended up going for a long cold walk instead of going to the gallery. There were quite a few awkward silences, but it was mostly fun. I kinda like him and his odd sense of humour, but I'm terrified of all the bad things that could happen.

Date Day

The snowplower and I have a date this afternoon (!).

We're going to the art gallery and then maybe out for coffee or something. I'm wearing my new sweater, purchased specifically for the occassion, and am getting a little nervous.

My last date was almost a year ago and it did not go well. It was the one where I spilled water all over myself, tripped on a step and kept clanging my utensils on my oversized plate. Hopefully my coordination is better today.

The snowplower seems nice, fun and interesting, but there is a red flag: what kind of guy wants to date someone who's unemployed and living with her parents?

It was the boots' fault

I applied for a job at a shoe store because there's a pair of too-expensive cute boots that I want. I applied yesterday and (of course) got the job.

As soon as the boss said I had it, I felt sick. I don't want to sell shoes from sweatshops made from animals's dead bodies. I also don't want to work for minimum wage.

I don't want to keep getting jobs and turning them down.

I want some perfect job doing something I believe in, but I don't really know where to start looking. It's seeming more and more likely that I'll be back in school next semester by default.

$$$

I get excited when I find a loonie I had forgotten about, especially now that I thought I was down to my last $5. While I was taking my rent out of the bank I was confused by my balance. It was $400 more than I remembered having!

Now even if I don't get a real job, I can afford Christmas and next month's rent!

The snowplower

I met a really cute snowplower while out on assignment last week. While nice to look at, he didn't really help much with what I needed. He had my phone number and e-mail address for business purposes.

Today he-mailed to apologize for not being more helpful and to ask if maybe sometime I might like to go for dinner with him. (Of course I said yes.) But I'm kind of confused as to why he asked. I had just come in from the cold when we met and looked pretty much exactly like this.

Guess I must have a good personality:)

He called a few hours ago and he wants to teach me how to snowboard later this week. I'll be all red-nosed and red-eared and falling down, but he doesn't seem to mind.

Another gross job

Too bad no one guessed I'd quit my job after 5.5 hours. You little darlings have entirely too much faith in me.

I quit a few minutes into my lunch break after these events occured:

1. The HR woman tried to get my new co-workers and I to sign a contract for $9.50 an hour even though the job ad we replied to said we would be making $10.00 an hour. We had to convince her to give us our proper pay rate and in return she made it so we wouldn't be eligible for a raise until we had been there for a year.

2. My contract also stated that I was hired as a full-time worker. I never agreed to that and was told I could have a part-time shift.

3. In my interview I said that I was only available for the day shifts and wouldn't consider working a night shift. That was totally fine with the guy that hired me, but when my supervisor found out that I didn't want to work nights, he made it seem like I was being unreasonable. He pointed out another woman in our training class and said because she has children she has an "excuse" to only work day shifts but I'm selfish because I don't want to work the crappy shifts.

4. I used my cell phone on a break and my supervisor saw me. He waited until our training class was together again to say, very chastisingly, that we aren't allowed to use cell phones unless we're in the lunch room.

5. I had a nosebleed on a two-minute break and was a few minutes late getting back to work. That, of course, warranted another public chastisment.

6. Also, the job is boring and in a suffocating environment.

7. I couldn't think of a single reason to stay.